the snow's coming down...

Well here we are, another Christmas has snuck up on us. It is hard to believe that this year is pretty much over. Wow 2009, we had some good times...I hate to see you go so fast. Anyway...let us focus on the present...now...I have plenty of time to reflect about the year later, are we seeing foreshadowing? Yes! Okay let's leave English class...sorry.

I love this time of year. I love the Christmas season! I love Christmas music. I love Christmas Ex-trava-gan-zas! I love S to the Now! :)

Okay, okay...I think you've got it...I love this season.

But let us not forget about the reason for the season...immaculate conception...yes I said that. Jesus, YES YES! O come, O come all ye faithful...Rejoice, rejoice Emmanuel...O come let us adore him, Christ the Lord. Nothing better than getting to say thank you to our gracious God and celebrating the birth of Jesus.

However, I feel not as though I should go into great detail...so I will leave you with this as I am snuggled up on the couch and the lights are turned way down low, as it snows while sipping on my hot chocolate....

Merry Christmas to all,
and all a good night!


-------
I want this to be my driveway...
Oh wait! It is...my dream of a white Christmas came true! :)

oh by gosh by golly...

...It's time for mistletoe and holly.

It IS the most wonderful time of the year. I love the cold weather coming in...it means cozy in doors with a nice cup of hot chocolate and friends gathered together.

Let's see, a lot has happened since my last post...

I turned another year older.
One class away from being completely done with my first semester of grad school.
Pulled a 'few' pranks on some of our neighbs.
New friendships were made.
Fell in love...with Jacob Black. Just kidding...but seriously.
Played with my niece, who actually looks like my own kid.
Probably broke a common law or two...or three. Nahhh.
Still have not finished a book for 'fun reading'.
Dyed my hair, twice times.
Made delicious Jolie frosting...yes my family has our own frosting. :) It's kind of a big deal...
Looked up jobs for future referencing.
Summer missions...where will I go?
Thought about where I would like to work after my Master's Degree is completed.
Thought about what God has planned for my life.

Enough about that...more about one of my all time favorite things...

Truly connecting with God during worship. The type of connection that while you are worshiping and completely opening up your heart to God and focusing on Him and picturing his grace, mercy, and love for all. The type that when you have your hands crossed or to your side that for those moments in worship you feel something, not those butterfly feelings, but you truly feel something...the feeling that something is around you and holding your hand. I love that, I feel as though my maker is holding my hand and all I can do is cling on for life and smile. In those moments that you find like that...perfection lies. No weeping, no suffering, no pain...no darkness, no sick, no lame just you and God. Those are moments that my heart beats for.

------------------------
He is jealous for me.
Loves like a hurricane.
I am a tree.
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

rain falls.

it is fall. do i love it? of course. it is one of my favs.

do i love chicago? yes. do i miss chicago? double yes.

i have been considering lately to possibly go back there this summer and work with the church plant with one of the churches that we worked with a little bit. i would absolutely love it. building ministry in a city that needs it and reaching out to people and loving them. :)

i think one of the main reasons why i enjoyed it so much because it was not in the 'bible belt' and the culture is so much different. the city is definitely 'colder' than towns in arkansas. but for some reason i really enjoyed it. i felt like i was able to make a difference and God was using me there.

that is one of the ideas for the summer...with possibilities of maybe something overseas. i do not know right now...but i do know that i want to put my YES on the table. i wonder what would happen if more people started to do that. amazing things would happen for the kingdom, that is for sure.

-------------------------------------------------

break my heart for what breaks yours.

people. 3m:15s

people all around us are searching for truth.
some of them just can't seem to find it.

seeing them in a dark smoky place.
they're all locked outside.
but they've got paper lanterns.
to show them the way.
just show them the way.

people pass by all around them.
as they look for someone to turn to.
but nobody's by their side.
now they're lost and abandoned.
and slowly getting out of site.

makes you wonder about this world we live in.
people getting left behind.
maybe if we didn't just look through them.
and just tried to be on their side.
then we could all just be one nation.
and no one would ever cry.

love is really a movement.
maybe we should try it once in awhile.
we just have to show them the way.

just show them the way.

-----------

love is the movement.

my mama raised me in the dirty south.

Well well well...

Here we are again. I am home...where it is warmer (aka hot), humid, and quite.

I can officially say that I now understand why people in the city like coming to Arkansas or somewhere where it is quite.

Everything is so much slower here, and cheaper (13.25% tax...not so fun). You can see the stars and hear nature.

God's creation is amazing...I can not believe it sometimes. Coming back and seeing all the trees, mountains, and lakes makes me stand in awe.

If I had one word to describe my experience in Chicago doing aXis it might be:

indescribable.

I learned so many new things about myself and things that I want to partake in, as well as God's grace and mercy. My prayer and hope is that we all take the things we learned in Chicago and put them to practice on our campuses.

----------------------------------------------

Subject change...

Leaving for California in three days. I am more than excited, but I wish I had a little bit more time at home between now and then. Someone wise once told me...

The older you get the faster time goes by...just like a roll of toilet paper.
-The Bearded Wonder

That is all.

----------------------------------------------

Everything will change.
Things will never be the same.

just for now...

As of today, I ONLY have two more weeks in this wonderful place called Chicago!

It is so weird to think that summer is almost over and that aXis is almost over.  In a way I am ready to be back, but then I am not.  I definitely can not wait to see all my friends and familia at home.

Anyway...not a lot is new, just mainly working at the lovely Portillo's in downtown Chicago.  I usually work nights...meaning 5 to either 10, 11, 12, or 1.  

I will definitely miss being here once I go home, especially since it is just getting into the 80's here while it is 100 degrees + back home.  I may have a heat stroke if that's possible when I get back.  I will also miss all of my aXis community when the project is over and my co-workers...I work with some interesting characters.

Anyway...it is getting late and I need some rest for tomorrow, it will be a long 10 hour shift day.

I will leave you with some few things I plan on doing when I get back into Arkansas:

• GO TO SONIC!!!!! *Cause the closest one to us is like 30 miles or so away! :( sad day!*
• Go to La Huerta!  I have been craving cheese dip/salsa and chips from there so bad!
• Coffee Slushies!
• Seeing  YOU!

That is all I can think of right now, but I am about to pass out so...

Peace and Blessings.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am running out of words to say to you.

sleeping to dream about you.

As you may have guessed...well if you know mr. mraz...yes I am listening to him.

I love Wendy...she told me to say that...but I do. She is one of my roommates and she liked to yell statements sometimes, which Katie (our other roommate) and I love. I am so thankful for those two...they are a blessing to me and we have too much fun together. Fo realz!

However, I really and truly miss my friends and family back home...I only have 6 more weeks in this wonderful city. I will post some pics sometime soon. Girl scouts honor.

So today for the first time ever I played Ultimate Frisbee...and I loved it. I think we're going to play every Sunday, so that will be good.

BTDubs, I think something just exploded outside. Gunshots...no...explosions...yes. In the sky? YES! :)

Well this post has almost turned into lame sauce so I'll leave you with this...

peanut butter and raw hot dogs (but not together)...nough said. :)
*MFEO*

you've got mail.

As you may have guessed it...yes my roommates, aka Katie and Wendy, and I are watching 'You've Got Mail.' Which I have not really watched since it first came out, sorry Chelsea for what I am about to say...but I think it just seemed like a forever long movie that my mother made me watch, therefore I might have resented it a little bit. ;) But it is all good now.

Updates...

Well I absolutely love my roomies...we are so crazy and fun, it is truly only quite in our room when we all are asleep...whenever that happens. My D-Group is pretty awesome too, we have some good times as well.

Job Search: it is still going on for most of us. So hopefully our luck will change soon!

However, I recieved two good messages today:

1) I got a GA Position at Tech, so I will not be paying for my tuition. What a relief! :)

2) My aunt from Cali called me today, and she is booking my flight either tonight or tomorrow if she can find one. :)

P to the Umped am I!

Chicago = where my heart is. I will definitely miss this place, and will be visiting whenever I am able to. I love it here and I love it around 8/9ish when everyone is walking their dogs cause I get to pet them...saw a Labradoodle and a Chipoo. So cute! :) Wish I would have gotten pics, maybe next time.

As for now...it is wayyy past my bed time, because yes I am an old lady now.

Sorry for the lameness included in this post.

Maybe this video will make up for it!

YES WE CAN!

chocolate covered expresso beans.

I am absolutely and utterly loving Chicago right now.  I am just soaking up everything that I have seen and just cannot seem to get enough.  I may even be partaking in some 'sly' people watching.  Even though the thought might not be appealing at first I really do enjoy public transportation and truly feeling like a grown up when I am riding it by myself...okay okay...I will stop with my infatuation about this city.

Tonight was very enjoyable...our apartment cooked for another guys' apartment and then we watched a video discussing Jesus' love and the marvel of that, great discussion by one of our team leaders and group.  I also was able to witness one of the most beautiful things God has blessed me with.  I heard someone pray in Chinese tonight and all I could do was smile...it just sounded to beautiful.  The Lord's name being spoke in another language, was even encouraging or inspiring almost.  

I have been able to become really good friends with my roommates, Katie and Wendy.  I have only known them for less than a week, and I already love them.  They crack me up, I could not have asked for better roomies. :)

It is past my bedtime and chocolate covered expresso beans were probably not the best idea...ya think?

Be still, and know that I am God; 

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.  

Psalms 46:10

Destination: Excellence

This was originally written on May 30th...just saying...

I thought that today was going to be for the most part like any other day, or any other time on a trip where you travel...well I was wrong.

Today was a new day, a beginning of a new chapter, a chapter that hasn't even begun to be written.

Today was extraordinary, but not a rare type of day.  It was one of those day where you find the beauty of it all and for those brief moment every good memory or feeling is all brought into one emotion, and for those brief moments it is almost as if everything you know as ugliness or hurt wasn't there and everything is just...perfect.  Almost like nothing can touch you.  Now those days my friends - are the ones we live for.

It started at 5:20 a.m. - I woke up to get ready to embark on an adventure that God wanted me to partake in - I was going to Chicago for the majority of the summer with a leadership program that focused on evangelism and discipleship.  So going on about 3ish hours of sleep I imagined that I would most likely be sleeping on the bus on our soon to be almost 14 hour trip with all of our stops/breaks calculated in.  However, when we loaded up zZz's were not what was heard, but laughter & excitement and new bond & friendships forming.

However, the restlessness soon caught up with all of us and everyone slowly began to find their ipods and their pillows.  Seeing as I thought that we would be crammed for space I did not bring a pillow for the trip.  But the good news is that I would have missed the experience God  today that God has already given me.

Maybe it wasn't just the Explosions in the Sky I was listening to, or the fresh greenery that the last month of raining gave us.  But the moment that I just spoke of earlier was not just a coincidence, rather it was destiny (for lack of better words).  As I looked out my window of our bus onto the flat lands of Arkansas for the last time for a bit it was similar to those of when you are a child and you are starring out your window expectantly for Santa to arrive.  So, while marveling over God's creation we were passing fields and I noticed to airplanes *while listening to Explosions in the Sky - Your Hand In Mine* everything seemed to be as though it was perfect while the two planes maneuvered gracefully throughout the blue sky over the fields, it was a moment of pure beauty.  I just had to think to myself...what a moment and couldn't hold back a smile.  You don't get a lot of moments like that if you're not taking the time to allow God to show them to you.

For some reason while riding on the interstate I like reading billboards and road signs as well as semis and what they are hauling...I guess you could say that it's somewhat of a healthy curiosity.  Anyway, soon after we passed the planes we are passing a semi and of course I look and the load it was hauling and I thought what in the world is that for?  Well as we are getting closer to the cab I can see on the back of the truck it says: 

Destination: Excellence

I then had reconfirmation that this summer was going to be excellent and I was going to grow and learn and experience so many new things and I couldn't wait.

All in all, I am thankful for that and even though things aren't clearly mapped out in the essence of moment...it didn't matter and I knew God is taking care of me just as He always has.  Sometimes in our busy schedules that's hard to do when we think of how we need to do this and we need to do that.  Instead our initial thought process should be giving it to God...ye of little faith, I guess you could say.  That is a hard thing to do with the distractions and busy world we live in today.  My hope is that I strive to be more like that after doing aXis this summer and that we will be able to impact people's lives in Chicago and show everyone God's Love.

p.s. We made it in 13 hours with 4 stops and I love it here. :)

she is love...and she is all that i need.

Lord get me outta this city tonight...

This time next week I will be in Chicago! Am I excited?

DEFINITELY! :)

I will be leaving May 30th and I will return on July 25th...then off to Cali-forn-ia...Cal-forn-ia...Here I Coooooome!


This summer is going to be full of adventures and experiences and I can not wait...but I will miss the A-R-K-A-N-S-AS.

In other news...

I graduated college! Which still is kind of weird, I feel like I'm on a regular summer break...I mean yeah I will be back in the fall. However, it will be a lot different. Definitely less hang out time and I will be off campus...where? ...good question. Surprisingly I'm not too worried about it at the moment, which is a rare thing.

I don't really have anything clever to say other than...I just finished watching p.s. i love you. and it confirmed me moving to Ireland one day, but that's all I have for you now.

they say the wind is everyone that you have ever loved.
grazing their lips upon your cheek.

it's a bittersweet symphony.

So I am graduating in 9 days...weird? YES!

It feels like only yesterday I was a wee little freshman yesterday. Wow, time does fly when you are having fun...they were not kidding when they came up with that one!

I will be back in the fall starting my Masters, but I will not be an undergrad any more meaning less fun for me, for sure. But hopefully not. Well I don't really know, but I do know I will probably be super busy and I will be focusing on several different things. I am ready for it though...I think.

Things I will miss:

• Seeing the people who I have spent the last 4 years with.
• Being on campus, dorm life was fun...had it's downs but overall F-U-N!
• Riding on elevators with Tyler and Zach Steg.
• My PT time with Jenn.
• Random Happy Hours at Sonic.
• My view from the 501 and the animal crackers. *which are still there...SURPRISE!*
  
• Fun running and being stupid.
• Great corn dog hunts.
• Coffee slushies with Chels. mmmmmmhhhh...we're going to have to invest in one.
  
• Coffee with Beerandom.
• Finding 'ZACH WAS HERE!' on my belongings.
• Seeing friends on a daily basis.
• The caf...I know right?!
• 3 a.m. doughnut runs.
• Days at the lake...getting in trouble at the lake.
• Taking 'signs'.
• The Dover Lights.
• Nebo Runs.
• YOU!
• Cuatro!
  
• The 501!
• My 'Lil Queer and Minnie Anns.
• All my new freshie friends.
  

Pieces of advice:

• Just do it...no REGRETS!
• Love everyone.
• Judging is not allowed.
• Embrace the time you have, it goes by too fast.
• Try not to cry when your roomie moves out.
• If you fail a test...the world is not going to end. *That's a hard one.*
• Don't be a hermit...meet people.
• No drama no no no no drama. It's for yo mama.

Life...Laugh...Love
Man I Love College!

colorblind

I have been on a 'love' kick lately.
Not relationship 'love' kick...but a love people kick. Ya dig?

I just wish that people could see past the surface and dig a little deeper every once in awhile, I think the world could maybe be a better place, or have a chance to be.

Anyway...I guess that's enough philosophical info for now.

So...I am graduating in 14 days, yes 1 to the 4 days. It is so weird, I feel like a senior in high school all over again. All the bittersweet feelings rushing back to me. Even though I will be here in the fall semester starting my Master's, still the fact that people I came here with and have seen the last four years won't be. Sad Day :( Growing up is overrated most of the time, okay some of the time...I'll cut it some slack.

That's life for you. It doesn't wait on you, takes your days and then gives you more so for now we just have to enjoy it while we still have it.

One thing I will not miss is the stress and workload...well for a summer at least, I am ready to live school free for awhile and just be chill and enjoy myself. I am definitely looking forward to that and Chicago and California this summer.

That's about all I have for now but...

This is just a lil somethin' somethin' I made. Enjoy. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------live. laugh. love.

L.o.v.E.

I have thought about this one little four letter word lately.

L is for the way you LOOK at me.
O is for the only ONE I see.
V is very, VERY extraordinary.
E is EVEN more than anyone that you adore.

I stumbled upon one of my friend's notes they posted on Facebook tonight, and it was titled
"I'm Just Not Attracted To Her". I recommend if you have the time to check it out, definitely a good read. :)

Definitely was something that I needed to read tonight, because the writer talks about how physical beauty gets caught up in our society as the only reason why we should date someone. I think this is totally wrong, yes I do believe there should be an attraction there, however it should be more of who the person actually is and their beliefs rather than their outward appearance.

This is something that is witnessed everyday, when an 'attractive' girl walks by you can see the males' heads in the room slowly follow as they turn towards one another to make what they think is a "sly" comment, but is usually caught. I do not think guys give us credit on how observant we are...I mean we are going to be mother's one day and we all know that they have eyes in the back of their heads.

Then there is the frustration of when girls do the same thing, and the reaction is completely different. For instance, I remember some of my girl friends and I decided to give some of our guy friends a little taste of their medicine. They immediately got angry with us after the first couple of comments (after we will sit through a lunch's worth of comments about girls) and they saw it as we were doing something completely wrong and should be punished and they did not understand why we would say such a thing.

Ahhh...gotta love it.

I'll leave you with this...

"The more you are in love with the beauty of Jesus Christ, the more you will be attracted to what you see of Him in the woman you are dating and the more important it will be to you."

well well well...

We're on the brink of another TGIF. [kickin' it oldschool.]

So the first week after spring break was too crazy/busy than I would have liked for it to be.  Tests/Finishing up my application for Grad School/Softball/Working out/LIFE/NO SLEEPY...sounds like a sweet week, right?  Anywho...

SB Recap:

-Loads of not planning.

-Time to work on my journal for someone.

-QT with the rents. :)

-Running and teaching one of our dogs how to catch a frisbee in the air.

-Crossing over...to Twilight.

-Movie watching with my dad, one of my fav things to do.

-Catching up with some besties from home.

That's about it for now...I am too tired to think of anything clever to write, so I'll quite while I think I'm ahead.

time after time.

You know you can't hum cheaptrick...
it just doesn't work that way.

So here I am 2:16 in the a.m. and it's currently 53 degrees and mostly cloudy with a wind chill on 53 degrees and humidity of 70% and that's your local on the 8's.

It is officially Spring Break and I can't wait to be homes. It will be a nice week of relaxing, laking it up, and possibly going floating on the river with one of my besties.

This first post is lame, I apologize...but aren't they always?

Any who, I need to pack for the week still. I strongly dislike packing, mainly because I never know what I want to wear in the future...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift that's why its called the present.